A Paradoxical Experiment

 

 For several months, my money felt very tight. My expenses nearly matched my income, leaving just about nothing left over. Well, several weeks ago I sold my car, which freed up a lot of money. I bought the shoes and clothing I needed, stocked my dog supplies, and bought ice cream for my family. And then, I noticed how money leaves much faster than it comes, so I decided to do a no-spend week.

Last Saturday I wrote a list of the things I could buy this week, namely food and gasoline. That expense would not total more than twenty dollars for the whole week. I wasn’t sure if it would be very hard, since I don’t particularly care to shop, but it was surprising.

The first two days I came up with several items I wanted to buy. I wrote them in a list and forgot about them. By Wednesday, I wasn’t thinking about everything I wanted to buy, but I switched to a different topic. “I want to go write at a cafe.” Writing at a cafe would cost a three-dollar drink, and I hadn’t put it on my list for the week. “I could add it to my list, since I’m the one who created it.”

By Thursday, I was convinced it would be necessary to go to the cafe, so I said it out loud. Mom encouraged me to stick with my decision, so I went to the library—which is free. I finally reached Friday, and I did not go to the cafe all week. I did not purchase anything not on my list, and I am glad.

I am intrigued with myself. For the five months when I had so much money funneling it’s way out of my account, instead of making a positive “no-spend challenge” I panicked under the restraint my expenses placed on me. As soon as I had freedom, I enacted a restriction which put me back logistically in the place I was before. Why would I do that?